Good evening to anyone reading this.
I listened to a radio 4 programme this morning and the first session was about the trouble teachers are having in school with disciple. One teacher said when she was at school in the 70's , if she was told by her teacher that her parents were being called in because of her bad behaviour...she shook in her shoes. These days if she tells a pupil off the child will reply, "ll set my mum on you".! Were did it all go wrong?... is a question l ask myself quite a lot lately. Not all children are rude or disrespectful to adults or other children but too many are.
I am not blaming parents solely...but...so many families these days have no rules, no guide lines and most important in my book...never sit down to eat together at least once a week. Sitting round a table eating with be the time children tell you about their day or news about them or their friends. It is a very special bonding time. After school tea- time is just as good for talking as is the evening meal. I do understand that a lot of parents work and so this isn't always possible. But one meal a week getting together to eat and chat is better than nothing, l promise you. Srart as young as possible and it will remain with the family for years to come. My family still loving coming home to have say..a Sunday Lunch together..special times.
Another problem l am consistently coming across in my practice , is the need for some parents to try desperately to become their child's/childrens best friend. This seems to make them reluctant to tell the child/children off ... just in case the child dislike them. By all means be friends but remember who is the adult and who is the child. Children need to know where the lines are. Even now, at 33 my son knows when he is about to cross a line and with smile and back off.
Never be frightened to tell your child off but it is best to try not to shout at them, stand in their space or if possible never to strike them. Remember ...always to explain to them what they have done wrong and what you are going to do about it. One very important rule to remember is...what was wrong today is wrong tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. Stick to your guns and that way children start to understand what the rules are. How can you expect children to know what is right or wrong in the way they behave if you change the rules all the time. Yes l know. It is hard to keep telling children off for the same thing day after day but it will work..l promise.
Start when they are young and it gets easier as they get bigger..and then there are the teenage years..well that's another topic for another day!
Good night.