BODY ISSUES AND OUR CHILDREN!

I read the papers every day, partly because l have a need to know what is going on in my world but also to keep up to-date with the counselling world. The big issue that is worrying me lately is how girls and boys seem to be are worrying about their weight  constently. l have been trying to turn childrens minds around from always thinking about diets to...just healthy eating. I have very slim young girls of 11 who are becoming scared to eat because then they will become fat and they will loose all their friends. L could cry sometimes when l see the frightened expressions on their faces when they tell me they are frightened of food because it will make them fat.
What has happened to our children? They are no longer allowed to grow up slowly and enjoy their childhood.. My children, a boy and a girl are in their early thirties and when they were young, you often heard the words "puppy fat" mentioned. For those of you who do not know the meaning of these words l will explain. Around the age of l suppose 8 to about 12 years of age, society expected children to put on a little weight. We called it "puppy fat" and it usually meant you were about to have a growth spurt in height. Also because children had loads of games at schoola and played outside more..it soon went in most children. We...as parents...kept a close eye on our children but never really made a fuss of it because it was known as a "phase" children went through. Admittdly some children kept eating all the wrong things and the "puppy fat" sort of stayed put!!
These days everyone,well most people, have scales in their houses and to my amazement seem to use them more than once a week. l have been asking loads of people about their weighing habits and am surprised to find that over 50% of these(l asked 60 people..men and women) use their scales at least 3 to 4 times a week! I was always taught that if you have to weigh yourself, do it once a week at the same time.  I was finding people that weight themselves everyday and some twice! When did we become so weight conscious?  I suppose, with all the TV and radio and mags coverage of what we look like..l shouldnt be surprised. I counted on the TV last night 12 programmes to do with what we look like clothed and naked, what we eat and fashion items on the size 0 debate! I want to say "Get A Life" but l realise that this is a very serious topic and we really need to change the way we deal with it. When a 4 year old asked me last week, "Lynda do l look nice it this, does it make my bottom look big?" and she was not joking..l decided l had a huge battle on my hands! O.K she has more than likely heard her mum say it but the fact that her mum tells me they talk about it endlessly round the dinner table as a serious topic....l really am worried. What ever happened to what we did at school today or l need a new pencilor art or penny has a new sister or l hate billy because he pulled my pigtails? Safe, simple childlike questions or even where do babies come from mummy BUT..does my bottom look big in this or if l eat that sandwich mummy l will get too fat..when you are 3 or 4 years old!!
Honestly l am not an old fashioned woman, l love challenging questions from children but ones that are so serious about their weight and the fear that goes with it..frighten me about what we are doing to our children. When an 8 year old female client of mine, who has started to worry about getting fat, was asked to describe how she saw a size 10 model in a magazine to me. Proceeded to tell me the woman was too fat because you couldn't see her bones very well...l reaslised we have a long way to go to re-educate our children on what is an exceptable body image.
Body Issues is a very difficult subject but one l think we really need to sort out in our minds. I have to admit l was quite happy with my body until after having my children..the dreaded tummy problem! I have also always had a large bust and have had problems learning to live with it. Do you know how at the age of 45 l learnt to deal better with my large bust? so silly but so simple. I was always told l was a 48c!!no comments please!! then one day my husband took me for a proper bra fitting.WELL..my world changed in 3 mins, l kid you not! l am apprently a 34GG (small back..large cup!) and suddenly l felt SO much smaller and thinner. Isn't the mind a wonderful thing!Ha!
I do understand how people have problems with their size, when l was ill and put on steroids l went up to a size 20!!! from a size 12, in 3 months. l eventually managed to get down to a size 14/16 but it took me at least 5 years to except l was smaller and could try on smaller cloths. Now at the age of 56..well for a further 4 days and a bit..l finally " fit my skin".
"FAT SCREWS WITH YOUR BRAIN"...... saw this slogen written in red paint on a wall in London...so true!
Below is a photograph my husband took earlier this year.A few years ago l would never have let my image be taken! A little like the tribes that think if you take their picture..you take their soul. Admitterdly l wasn't that bad but l felt l was not fit to be seen and was very uncomfotable looking at my own image. Now l know l am no raving beauty and certainly not a size 0 but l am proud of myself these days..and thats a plus!