Sunshine and Smiles!

As the weather is being really miserable and dark at present..l am finding mornings very difficult. Get up in the dark and then finish work in the dark! Not fun. As a therapist l see lots of people with SAD....in other words don't like this dark weather syndrome!!!!!!!
So l thought..ok how do we cheer ourselves up and go out and face that awful dark morning folks.?
Then...this weekend l was up in Yorkshire visiting my mother-in-law and saw these wonderful things. Fancy waking up in the morning, cold, dark and feeling miserable and then walking into the kitchen and....WOW...sunlight.
May be we could get these on the NHS...for depressed and sad patients!!! Happy eating.

pregnant mums and care

Hi everyone!

I have had a lot of pregnant mums contacting me lately because they are so scared of going through labour with no help...as reported by the national newspapers. People know that l used to be a birth partner and that maybe as a Therapist, as well l could help with hints and tips etc.
So, l decided to do some inquiring and see what was going on. I must admit l didn't like what l found. When l was a Birth Partner over 5 years ago, l was worried because women didn't seem to be getting the care before hand and the birth was very hit and miss. What l have found out since really shocks me. It appears that a lot of women are not able or don't find time to go to Birthing Classes before hand and that many women spend many hours on their own in labour as there are not enough midwives to go round.
Many women l talked to said there either wasn't a Birthing Class in their area, the classes were full or they couldn't get time off work each week to go or they didn't think they would need one! I also found many women not bothering to find out much because it is alright they will have an epidural!! So if for some reason they can't have one or they arrive too late to have it...they don't know how to breathe correctly or how to use the gas and air the right way to benefit them. They don't know what to do, so therefore their partners don't either and every one is stressed and frightened by the situation.
Child Birth is painful but you can be taught to cope with breathing etc. if your partner feels confident, he is happier...therefore a bonding and loving birth can be achieved! No this is not a fairy tale, l have seen and been part of many a happy birth. It all depends on the attitude of Midwives, confidence of couple and atmosphere in the room.

A great deal can also be done to help you be more relaxed before and after the birth by arranging to have a freezer full of cooked food. Enables dad to feel confident about feeding you all and you can relax knowing you don't have to do anything. You can either do this your self in advance or you can be very clever and go to "Cook" find their website address in my resources page on my web site www.elemaitch.co.uk
You can maybe have a Baby Shower were everyone brings you a dish or two to put in your freezer. Another way is to get excited grandparents to full the freezer for you as a baby present. Or you could always do it yourself...this is plug l know for this company but l feel their home cooked food is fab. There baby food is also really handy to have too. End of plug! More tips in a few days.

If you are feeling down..here is some thing to make you smile and think that good things do happen in this world!

A five-year-old boy dressed in a Spider-Man suit became a real superhero in Brazil when he saved a baby girl from her burning home.

While playing in his back garden with a friend, Riquelme Maciel spotted smoke coming out of the wooden house's windows and ran to tell the baby's mother, Lucilene dos Santos.

But Ms Santos was too afraid to enter the blaze, so it was down to young Maciel to step in and save the day - he rushed into the burning house and grabbed baby Andrieli from her cradle.

The Fire Department Chief Jose de Macedo praised the boy's bravery, and much like his hero Spider-Man, Maciel became the talk of the town.

His face made it to the cover of all the local newspapers and he no longer needs the red and blue costume to be recognised.

Maciel said he is now dreaming of becoming a fire-fighter so he can save more lives.

I had a very interesting conversation with a lady in a Coffee Shop the other afternoon, over the meaning of "Normal".

What is normal?

Oxford English Dictionary: • adjective 1 conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

Does that help?

I have always been told l'm different, not normal, quirky and way out! All because l am artistic or because l didn't and don't follow fashion etc....! I was once told l didn't fit into any of the expected Boxes!!! What boxes l wanted to ask, l was about 8 at the time. The best piece of advice l was ever given concerning boxes was from an Art Tutor at college. She told me that as long as l thought out of the box l'd be o.k but if l started to conform and tried to fit inside this "box"...l'd fail. GOOD ADVICE. If you are a star shape or oblong... how can you fit in a square box? So l suppose l don't fit the norm expected of "A Therapist"... but that's o.k because what does a therapist look like? how do they talk etc. I wear 2 different earings, my hair is longer on one side than the other...need l go on ?.......Still no wiser to what "Normal" really means!

Did you know that 1 in 4 of us will have some sort of mental illness in our life time? I feel that we are all individuals, so how can a person with mental heath problems be treated the same as the next mentally ill person? o.k. you can have the same label but act differently. That is why l think each person should be able to have a therapist that suits them. Unfortunately in the NHS that isn't so easy. There are not enough Therapists to go round and not enough money to help either.
We are a Mulit Cultural society and l think that must cause problems too. From my own life experiences l know how different people are from region to region let alone country to country. So finding a Therapist that understands your rituals, language etc is often difficult. As a person who say ...has anxiety problems..seeing a Therapiste who doesn't understand your culture or language puts even more pressure on the poor patient. I don't speak other languages ...but...hand jestures and using Art often gets over the language barrier. I lived and worked all over the world and been lucky enough to be able to study many cultures. I also know how difficult it is to be ill in a strange country and not to be able to explain how you feel because you don't have the words. Any form of Mental Health problems is distressing, add language and cultural differences on top and life gets very difficult indeed.

Positive thinking!

SMILE

I have decided to- day is the first day of Summer...l kid you not! There is enough gloom and doom around these days to make everybody sad! So..sunglasses on everyone, sun hats at the ready and pour yourself a large one! No ...the drugs for my flu haven't take over..l am trying to be positive!!!

Strange word that positive. Not many people use, or they use it as in "not" positive. If at least 10 mins a day you try to have a positive out looked on problems and life...could make your day seem quite good.

For instance..."It is so dull and wet today!" instead.."It is rainning and miserable but at least the ducks are happy!!! " OR

"Dam the post came to day and my card isn't there"..instead "No post today..hurray no bills!"

See what l mean??!!

SO......thought fot the day...Always take your weather with you!!!!!!

been busy..sorry!

Sorry it is a long time since l blogged on this site! I have been working very hard trying to get my counselling services up and running. that is now up and running..so l intend to try and write something on here every few days. In the mean time....went to Tate Modern today to see "The Crack" every one is talking about. Will discuss tomorrow..but here are a few images to keep you interested. Also what do you think of Tate Modern and do you think places like this are great to get children interested in Art? And...do you think they should get help from tax payers and the National Lottery??? talk late. Oh!!!! appears l can't upload images to-night..the site won't let me..do it tomorrow.

Stressed Mums.

Today in the newspaper, there is a lot more news on the McCanns missing daughter Madeleine. If there are any mums reading this please take note! In the mother's dairy she wrote how hard she was finding the daughter and the twins!!! Wow! Breaking news! Most mothers find looking after children is often stressful and tiring...especially if they are also working. Also bare in mind it is a daughter and twins in a very short space of time!!!
The myth of "beautifully calm and joyful" motherhood is one that still seems to be well and living in the minds of newspaper men! Babies and children are hard work but wonderful at the same time. When one writes a dairy it is normally to get rid of your frustrations, so you don't take them out on others or because you feel unable to tell anyone how you feel.Maybe because you feel guilt, others may have told you ,you won't cope because you are too old or young or may be you are worried that social services may hear and also think you are not coping! Either way...dairies are normally private, personal and a help to feeling more in control. O.K. sometimes it is a cry for help but in this case l feel it was a way of sorting out her feeling.

Mothers are often trying to be perfect in the World's eyes. A perfect wife, a perfect mother, a perfect daughter and daughter-in-law, a perfect friend and be perfect at their job. Even if you are not working that is still quite a list. On top of that many women are having to cope as lone parents. It's no wonder these days women feel so pressured. I see many women and couples in my practice that are finding day to day life stressful and this is effecting their marriages, home life and Ask for help! I am aware that so many people live away from their families or even their own countries. If you feel you are unable to talk to family members, community nurses of friends...try a counsellor or therapist..talking is a start!.

I have found out through my work as a therapist, Life Coach and photographer... life can be fun...if you are prepare to let it! By that l mean life is complicated enough with out human's trying to make it harder. Money is often the reason people are not happy. Believe me money is very useful but not always really the answer. You can spend time with your partner and or children with out spending any money. A walk or a visit to gallery or museum. O.k l know the not every one lives near a park or a gallery but there are other things. What ever happened to playing games after dinner or in the afternoon or just going for a walk to pick conkers? I have just been listening to some 30something women talking about how much they spent in this Summer holiday! I was amazed. Even if you are working, spending time with the children on days off or wkends should be quality time not MONEY time surely!I have had children, so l do know how difficult it is to find free things to amuse them with. On the other hand, if they don't learn how to amuse themselves..we, as a nation are really in trouble. I think this is already happening. Bored and unmotivated children spell trouble.
It was different when my 30something children were young but just as difficult. Now there are Breakfast Clubs, After School clubs, Dance classes, mini yoga,Art classes and Saturday Clubs..when do children see their parents? O.k l hear all you working parents shouting at me! But honestly is "Keeping up with the Jones" )in some cases), is it worth you not seeing your children's childhood? I appreciate there are a lot of parents out there that have no choice but to the others...think about it Please.

Question: Is this self harming? I am having a discussion with another counsellor/therapist who thinks it is. I tend to think of it, as showing your individuality, wanting to be different. O.k...sometimes it goes deeper than just decoration and into more complex issues but on a day to day basis ..it is also Art and / or Fashion!
Can l have some feed back on this...if anyone is reading this?

What is this Blog about?

Hi!
I am going to use this blog to talk about,rant and discuss issues relating to emotional and mental health.The World Health Organization has just reported that by 2020 Depression will be the second biggest health issue after Heart problems.As a Counsellor and Coach l deal with children, women and families covering such issues as Depression, self-harming, divorce issues and sexual assault. Oh! l hear you saying "Heavy stuff"! Well... l am going to try and make this site fun as well as serious...l hope!